I pray. Some might think I pray too much or a lot, but for me, it is just about right. I pray at set times and I pray when I need to pray or in response to something wonderful.
Since I am public about the fact I pray, have prayed for many years, and share public prayers, I am often asked questions about prayer. Here's some of them, and my answers.
Is prayer effective? Yes. But there have certainly been times in my life when my prayers have been dusty dry as I struggled to find and hold onto my connection to the Holy, was simply exhausted and drained, or in so much trouble I could barely breathe. Prayer is effective because it reconnects our senses and heart to the Holy. As a Universalist, I don't think the Holy loses track of us, but I do have enough experience of myself to know I can lose track of the Holy. Prayer is also effective because it changes us. My life in prayer has made me a more generous and kinder person, in large part because prayer turns me back to what's most important....and that isn't me or the spray of mud on my clothes from a passing car.
Is prayer answered? Yes, but maybe not the way we would prefer or can easily underrstand. Getting what I wish for is not how I judge the efficacy or use of prayer. Prayer doesn't work from scarcity, and it can't treat the Holy as a vending machine. The Holy vending machine is wishful thinking. Living from scarcity, prayer isn't about apportioning scarce resources - namely, blessings -- but about how we attend to the Holy and live in the way of courageous love and peace. That is, prayer enables us to add and attend to life's blessings, not necessarily to our own personal store of blessings to hoard.
Do you pray for particular outcomes? I'm always praying to grow spiritually and especially around the issues I wrestle the most - courage, generosity, and forgiveness. I do pray for people as I am asked, though I always add prayers for understanding, consolation, and endurance when asked about healing, employment, and other life crises. Sometimes we can work really hard, try really hard, and pray really hard and we will not have the outcome we would prefer. That does not negate either our love, our faith, or our prayers. Those times do orient me back to cultivating trust in the Holy, accepting the cycle of death and life, cherishing the love I've received and have, and attending to what I can do.
Can we pray angry? Yes. Angry, sad, disappointed, bitter, resentful, hurting, hollowed out, and depressed. Indeed, the Bible has all these kinds of prayers already in that sacred library. We pray beginning where we are, wherever we are, however we are.
Do we have to use a set prayer? Do we have to make up a new one each time we pray? One of the great blessings we have is that there are many prayers we don't have to create. If we find one that resonates with our spirit, then we should pray it. We can create prayers, too. They might be single words like "Wow!" or "Thanks!" or longer flowerings of our hearts.
We should also pray out of our comfort zone, too. A prayer life that doesn't take us out of our comfort zone isn't really about connecting to the Holy; it has become a ritual of self-comfort and a security blanket. That's wonderful at times, but prevents us from growing faithfully if we live there most or all of the time. A life in prayer changes us (that's why we call it a practice of faith formation). A life in prayer changes how we approach every night and day, how we are in relationships with one another, and how we attend the Holy. Why not give it a try? It's free. It's time and cross-culture tested. It's up to you and how you live in this moment.
